Two Times Alex Didn't Tell Her Mother She's Gay
by brinshannara
Summary: Two scenes from 2x08 (Medusa) where Alex doesn't actually tell her mother she's gay.
1. Today is the Day

_'Today is the day,'_ Alex thought, as her alarm went off.

She reached over and silenced the alarm, but remained in bed. It was Thanksgiving and she had decided that today would be the day that she would come out to her mother.

The thought of it almost caused her to throw her blankets over her head and burrow under them until such time as her mother was safely back in Midvale, at which point Alex could just send her an email explaining that she was gay.

Or a telegram.

Or possibly smoke signals.

"Tell your family," Maggie had said. "You shouldn't have to do it alone," she'd said.

It was good advice and Alex knew it, so she took a breath and flung the covers off. She headed to the washroom to shower, all the while muttering about how facing evil Kryptonians who wanted to destroy the human race wasn't nearly as terrifying as the prospect of telling her mother she was gay.

It was around two in the afternoon when she arrived at Kara's bearing potatoes and pumpkin pie as her small contributions to the dinner. She'd only been asked for the potatoes, but had brought the pie anyhow, since she knew from past experience that her mother would be making Kara's favourite, the galactically-renowned chocolate pecan pie. Alex took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Kara swung the door open a moment later.

"Happy Thanksgiving!" her sister said, smiling brilliantly.

"Happy Thanksgiving," Alex replied with a tentative smile, stepping inside. She handed the bags with the food over to Kara.

"Alex!" her mother said, wiping her hands dry on a dishtowel, before approaching. "Happy Thanksgiving!" She wrapped her arms around Alex, hugging her tightly. "Oh, let me look at you," she said, pushing Alex away at arm's length and looking at her critically.

 _'Oh God,'_ Alex thought to herself. _'Here it comes.'_ She nearly winced while bracing herself for her mother's inevitable criticism.

"Alexandra, you look fantastic," her mother said, kissing her lightly on the cheek. "It's so good to see you. Thank you for coming a bit early to help out!" she said, with a smile, before heading back to the kitchen.

Alex blinked. She looked towards her mother. She looked at Kara, who looked hopeful, if confused. She looked back in her mother's direction.

"Uh. Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Mom," she said. She looked back at Kara, who just shrugged.

Their mother had already taken over the entire kitchen for the rest of the meal - the turkey was defrosting so Kara could later zap it, while the cranberries and, of course, the famed glazed carrots were being prepared. They'd even brought out another table for the kitchen, to act as extra counter space.

They worked together in the kitchen for the next little while, cooking dish after dish together, when Eliza finally noticed Alex's pie.

"Alex, did you bring this?" she asked, pointing out the pumpkin pie.

"Yeah," she nodded, as she pulled the green beans out of Kara's fridge.

"Well, then I guess we'll have two pumpkin pies," she replied.

Alex froze, staring into the fridge. "What, no chocolate pecan?" she muttered.

"Well, we had that last year, so I thought I'd make pumpkin, this year, since it's your favourite."

Alex frowned and turned to look at Kara whose face had fallen. She stood and looked at her mother as she closed the fridge. "Wow," she said, honestly, "thank you."

Eliza just smiled at her. "All right, girls, would you please start in on the beans? I'm just going to run to the washroom," she said.

"Of course," Kara said, still a bit stunned.

Alex waited until Eliza was out of earshot and then stepped close to her sister. "Did you tell her?" she accused her sister.

"Tell her?" Kara blinked. "Tell her what?"

"You know," Alex urged. "About me?" She gave her a meaningful look.

Kara snorted. "If you think _I'm_ going to have that conversation with her, you're crazy."

"But... she's being so nice! What the hell is going on?"

Kara considered. "I mean, it's a little weird that she didn't make the chocolate pecan pie."

"Right?!"

"And," Kara considered, "I haven't heard a single critical thing about you since she's arrived."

"Which is totally weird, right?" Alex said. "She's up to something, or something is wrong, or... I don't even know. I don't know how to handle this." She paused. "Actually, I do know how to handle this." She put the beans on the counter and opened the fridge up again, grabbing a beer. "If my having a couple of drinks doesn't get her to say something, we'll know something is up."

Kara rolled her eyes. "I don't think it's a bad thing, Alex." She paused for a moment, thinking. "I mean, maybe it's possible that she learned from last year."

Alex took a swig. "Nobody learns that quickly," she said. "And," she continued, pointing in the vague direction of the washroom, "that includes Mom." She took another mouthful of beer.

"You might want to sip at that a bit," Kara noted.

It was Alex's turn to snort. "Well, if you think I'm going to have that conversation with her while I'm sober, _you're_ the crazy one."

Kara's eyes widened. "Oh Rao, Alex, please tell me you're not going to tell her today. Please."

Alex toasted Kara with the beer bottle and took another hefty swig. "Today's the day," she said, a grim, determined look on her face.

"Really? On Thanksgiving?!" Kara was clearly horrified.

"You would prefer Christmas, maybe? How about Shrove Tuesday? Oh, wait, I know, Mother's Day!" Alex took another healthy mouthful. "No, it's happening today," she said, resolutely. "Now," she continued, setting down the beer bottle, "let's get these beans started."

"How are you even going to do it?" Kara asked.

Alex shrugged as she pulled a colander down from a cabinet. "I don't know. I was toying with 'Mom, can you please pass the gravy to a lesbian?'."

"Alex!"

"I mean, we'd have to look at seating arrangements, because I wouldn't want her to accidentally pass the gravy to you..."

Kara lightly smacked Alex's shoulder.

She grinned at Kara. "I don't know, honestly. I figure I'll know when it's the right time. But today is the day." She turned on the faucet and started washing the beans carefully.

"Can you like, I don't know, give me a signal first, so that I can pretend there's another plane that needs saving?" Kara implored.

Alex just smiled.

By the time James and Winn arrived, Alex had made her way through two beers, without a single word from her mother. Not even a disapproving look. It was suspicious in the extreme.

Alex finished tidying up a bit in the kitchen as Kara used her heat vision to cook the turkey and then walked over to the living area where Winn and James were chatting in hushed tones.

"I should be the one to tell her," James was saying.

Alex narrowed her eyes. "Tell who what?" she asked, deliberately stealing Winn's beer out of his hand and sitting down next to him, silently showing him that she was in charge.

"Alex," Winn said, "uh, okay, so we thought about what you said."

"Mm hmm," she said, swigging the beer.

"About Kara," James added.

"Right, about not keeping secrets from her," Winn continued.

 _'Oh no,'_ Alex thought to herself. _'Do not... do not tell me that these two idiots are even thinking about...'_

"We talked about it," James said, "and, uhm, I'm going to be the one that tells her I'm the Guardian."

"No," she said, simply.

"Yeah," James said.

"No, no, no, no, no, you're not, no," she said, "because I, I have something to say, something *very* important and I'm not gonna have you two hijacking the night with your vigilante," she paused, searching for the word, "hijinks!" she said, punctuating her words with a pointed finger.

"I'm sorry," Winn said, in a tone that indicated he was not at all sorry, "I couldn't sleep a wink last night. No, I can't wait," he said, emphatically. Too emphatically, as it happened, because Kara had suddenly joined them in the living room, curtailing Alex's planned retort. To be fair, her retort was going to be some vague threat of physical harm, so it was probably best that Alex had been interrupted, but still.

"Can't wait for what?" Kara asked.

Alex just sipped at her beer and silently promised herself that she would kill the two of them later if they said anything now.

James cleared his throat, uncomfortably, while Winn tried to think quickly. "Eliza's glazed carrots...? Whaaaat?"

"Oh yeah!" sighed Kara.

"Yeah," James chuckled, nervously, "I mean, Winn was gushing about those ever since last Thanksgiving!"

"Family tradition!" Winn stated.

Thankfully, there was a knock at the door to interrupt one of the most awkward conversations ever and Kara scurried off to answer it.

Alex glared at the two of them. "You are not doing this. Not tonight. Not on Thanksgiving," she warned them. "Have I made myself clear?"

James looked like he was going to object.

"I said," she said, menacingly, "have I made myself clear?"

The boys looked at each other and sighed. "Yes," Winn said.

"Yeah," answered James.

"Good." She took a sip of her beer and waved across the room at Mon-El who had just arrived. "Now, let's all try to have a nice Thanksgiving, shall we?" She smiled.

They sat in uncomfortable silence for a few moments before Alex just rolled her eyes at them, stood up and walked past her mother and Mon-El, over to Kara, who was looking a bit out of sorts.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," she said, despite the look on her face.

"What?"

"Yeah," her sister said, again, bizarrely, still with a weird look on her face. "I think Mon-El is hitting on Eliza."

Alex suddenly understood why her sister's face looked like that. "No wayyyyy," she breathed, her face taking on a similar look of disgust as she turned to look at the two of them.

"And," Kara held up the bag she was carrying, "he brought stuffing."

Alex looked. "Oh boy," she muttered, bringing her beer up to her lips.

"Ooh!" Kara said, snagging Alex's bottle from her hand.

"No, please!" she begged.

"Mmm mmm," intoned Kara, chidingly. She promptly opened the freezer door and placed the beer inside.

Alex frowned and watched as her sister went to speak with their mother.

 _'My little sister doesn't get to cut me off, not even on Thanksgiving,'_ Alex thought to herself. With exaggerated casualness, hands clasped behind her back, Alex made her way towards the fridge as Kara and their mom fiddled with flowers and glassware on the kitchen table. She stepped to the far side of the fridge and turned around, keeping an eye on Kara as she opened the freezer door.

She turned to look inside and was pleasantly surprised to see the whiskey bottle there. _'Well, that's an upgrade,'_ she thought to herself as she swiped it, shut the freezer door and walked back over to the other table, without her sister being any the wiser. She poured herself a shot and downed it quickly. _'Liquid courage,'_ she nodded to herself. _'Just what I needed.'_

She casually put the bottle back into the freezer, all without Kara seeing, before pouring herself a glass of wine to go with dinner, as her mother had called everyone to the table.

"Kara, will you do us the honours?" her mother asked, as everyone, except Alex, had already joined the table.

"Oh, yes!" Kara said, standing.

 _'Crap,'_ Alex thought to herself and dove for her chair, perhaps a little too enthusiastically, causing the chair to scrape along the floor and causing her to almost spill her wine. James glanced at her and she held up her hand to indicate she was fine.

"So, it is a Danvers family tradition that, before the meal," her sister said, as Alex took a healthy swallow of wine, "we go around, and we say what we're thankful for, so..."

"Ahhh," the boys at the table voiced.

 _'Oh God. Okay. This is it. You're thankful to be able to be yourself, Alex. That's what you're thankful for. And thankful for these wonderful people in your life who will be supportive. Yup. Thankful.'_

"Whoever wants to go first..." Kara said, sitting back down.

Alex didn't even really understand it when James said "yeah," because she was already trying to make herself stand up. "Okay," she said, then realized that both James and Mon-El had stood up with her.

"I... wanna go first," James said.

She sat back down on her chair, exhaling forcefully.

"Kara, I, I for one, would like to say how thankful I am... to have such an understanding friend."

 _'Oh you did not just say that, Jimmy Olsen,'_ Alex thought angrily.

"Oh, he's right, you are *so* understanding," Winn agreed, piling it on.

"You are," James nodded.

Kara just looked touched.

"And because-"

"Nah, she's not," Alex said, aloud, interrupting James.

"Yes, she is," James insisted.

"NO, she's NOT," Alex said, glaring up at James.

Wisely, Winn reached out and patted James on the arm, indicating that he should sit down. James sighed, defeated, and sat back down. Alex took a breath to prepare herself.

And then Mon-El decided to join in. "Uh," he said, clearing his throat as he stood.

 _'Oh my God, everyone needs to just sit down and shut up!'_ Alex grumbled to herself, then had another mouthful of wine.

"Yeah, I just wanna, uhm, say, uhm, something, I'm also thankful for you, Kara, uhm, because not only are you understanding, but you're also gracious."

Alex watched as her sister laughed nervously and looked moderately embarrassed.

"Out of everybody who could have found me in that pod, I'm the luckiest guy in the world that it was you."

 _ **'Now.'**_

Alex tried to stand, finding it a little more difficult than it usually was, but she started speaking before she was fully upright anyway. "I'm just going to jump in and say there are so many things that I'm thankful for," she began, finally standing up, looking over the table, seeing her mother smiling at her from the other end. It threw her off a bit, causing her to stumble through her words. Or maybe that was the alcohol. "And, uh, I, uh, honestly, I, I don't think I've ever really felt this much like myself, than, than right now," she said, glancing at Kara, who shot her a look that said, quite clearly, _'oh, so_ _ **this**_ _is when you're gonna do this? Really?'_. She persevered. "And so there's a-a reason for that. And that reason..." she said, looking directly at her mother. "Well, ever since..." she chuckled.

And then a portal of some kind opened right above the dining table in Kara's apartment. Everyone took a few steps back, shouting in surprise or gaping at it in shock. It lasted a few seconds and then was gone.

"Does that normally happen on Thanksgiving?" Mon-El asked.

Alex sat back down in her seat, as Kara explained that no, that was not normal.

 _'If that's not the universe giving me a sign, I don't know what is,'_ Alex thought to herself as she drained the rest of her wine. _'Apparently, today is not the day.'_


	2. A Mother Knows

Alex Danvers found she was enjoying working with her mother, which surprised her a great deal. Not because she didn't think her mother was a formidable scientist - she was - but because they were able to communicate so easily with one another. The ease with which they were able to discuss the science of it all, the probable molecular structure of the virus, ways to genetically modify it for a cure, the various implications of the Kryptonian virus on their Daxamite patient's immune system... Speaking that effortlessly with her mother wasn't something that happened often.

 _'And yet,'_ Alex thought to herself, as she sat back down at a computer console, _'I have to be pretty damn drunk to even try coming out to her.'_ She typed a few commands on the keyboard. _'Stupid alien portal,'_ she grumbled to herself.

She called up the molecular structure of the virus on her screen and gazed at it pensively, feeling the pressure. Kara was depending on her, on them, to find a cure for the virus.

Eliza walked up to her, tablet in hand.

"So what is it?" she asked.

"Oh," Alex sighed, "I've got the mainframe breaking down the virus on a molecular level," she replied, easily.

"No, I mean..." her mother said, "I know you've been trying to tell me something," she smiled.

Alex looked at her, wide-eyed, then looked away.

 _'Oh God, oh God, oh God.'_

She forced herself to visibly remain calm, or at least as calm as she could project. She wasn't ready for this. She couldn't just say, offhandedly, in the lab, at work, that she was gay. "Oh," she made a face, then exhaled forcibly. "No," she said, standing and walking over to another workbench, conveniently one where she wouldn't have to face her mother. "No," she repeated.

Alex took a breath and remembered the text conversation she'd had with Maggie before she'd fallen asleep the night before.

 _"So I couldn't tell her. There was this, I don't know, portal thing that literally opened up over Kara's dining room table," Alex had texted, "so I figured that was a sign."_

 _Maggie had responded quickly. "Danvers, you don't have to make up a complicated excuse. Telling your family is hard. I get it."_

 _Alex had chuckled. "I swear to God I'm not making up the portal thing."_

 _"... really?"_

 _"Really."_

 _"Jesus, Danvers, are you okay? Is everyone else okay?!"_

 _"Oh yeah, we're fine. It just opened up, lasted a few seconds, then closed up. We'll look into it tomorrow at work," she had assured the police officer._

 _"Okay. You let me know if you need help."_

 _"I will," Alex had texted back, smiling._

 _"So, yeah, about your mom. Just take the next real opportunity to tell her. You don't need to tell her in front of anyone, you don't need to make it a big production. Just... Mom, I have something to tell you."_

 _Alex had nodded. "Okay. Next opportunity," she had replied._

 _"Promise?"_

 _She'd laughed. "I promise."_

Alex steadied herself, placing her left hand on the nearby table for support. She sighed. _This_ was the next opportunity. She closed her eyes, bracing herself. "How?" she asked her mother, shaking her head gently. How had she known? This wasn't how she wanted to do this. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

"Keeping a secret disagrees with you, sweetie," her mother replied, kindly.

Alex turned to look at her over her right shoulder. It was true. Ever since she'd told her mother about the DEO, her ability to keep things from her family had seemed to evaporate. Where she had been able to keep huge secrets locked up inside, now she felt guilty about keeping most anything from them. Alex turned back, averting her gaze from her mother and folded her arms across her chest. "This isn't like that, Mom," she muttered softly, a tinge of defeat in her voice.

"Does it," her mother began, "have anything to do with Maggie?"

Alex couldn't even begin to understand how her mother could know. She stood there, paralyzed in shock.

"You mention her. A lot," she said.

 _'She knows. She knows. Oh my God, she knows and we're talking about it and I am so not ready for this and yet we're doing it. Oh God.'_ Alex's eyes filled with tears.

"Oh, my beautiful Alexandra," she said, walking up to Alex, "why... why is it so hard for you to tell me?"

"Feel like I'm, uh, letting you down?" Alex said, her voice breaking, nodding towards her mother, finally looking at her in the eye. "Somehow?"

"Why would your being gay ever let me down?" her mother asked, softly, genuine confusion on her face.

Alex took a deep breath and half-shrugged. "You always wanted me to have..." She gasped lightly, trying not to cry. "A regular life."

"Alex," her mother breathed, "look at the life our family has led," she chided, lightly. "Look at me, look at your sister," she said, looking at Alex. "I don't... I don't think you believe I ever expected you to have a regular life," she said, shaking her head.

She looked up at her mother, waiting for the criticism that was almost always attached to the interactions they shared, but it never came. "You were always going to be different, Alex, because you were always exceptional. And I _love_ you, however you are," she said.

Alex could only nod.

"Come here." Her mother wrapped her arms around her and held her tightly. Alex let herself go. Her arms came up and she hugged her mother back, closing her eyes, feeling the unconditional love, acceptance and support. Tears rolled down her face, but they were tears of relief.

She pulled away from her mother, taking a shaky breath. "So you knew?"

"Yes," she responded.

"No, but really," Alex smiled, drying the tears from her eyes with her sleeve.

Her mother smiled back. "I knew. And I figured that you'd want to tell me in person."

Things clicked for Alex. "So that's why you made the pumpkin pie!"

"Guilty," her mom smiled.

"And why you didn't say anything about how much I had to drink."

Eliza shrugged. "I certainly had my fair share of liquor before telling your grandparents that I was going to marry Jeremiah, regardless of what they thought of him," she admitted. "So how could I possibly judge you for trying to gather up the courage to be braver than I could ever hope to be?"

Alex smiled at the kind words. "Thanks, Mom."

She nodded.

Alex pondered, as she sat back down at the computer terminal. "So you knew... but how did you know?"

"That's easy," her mother replied. "It's in your voice, when you speak about Maggie."

Alex blinked. "What?"

"You... soften." Her mother shrugged. "You can be so tough, Alex, and I understand that's part of the life you lead as an agent here. It's rare that other people get to see how soft and loving and vulnerable you can be, the way you are with Kara. So I knew, as soon as you first told me that Maggie even existed. I knew that you cared for her differently, because the way you talked about her was so soft."

"Oh," Alex said, stunned, trying to remember back to when she first talked to her mom about Maggie. She frowned. "What did I even say about her?"

"Something about how awful she was at pool, I think," Eliza said. "Something about winning money from her and then she had to go?"

Alex smiled, finally placing the conversation. "Wow."

"Hm?"

She shook her head. "You knew I liked her before I did."

Her mother laughed. "What I don't know is, is she gay? And are you two together? And if so, when do I get to meet her?"

"Whoa," Alex said, "slow down. Uh, yes, she's gay," she said, but then shook her head. "I like her, but... she, uh..." She cleared her throat. "She doesn't like me like that," she said. "So we're just friends."

"I'm sorry, Alex," her mom said, squeezing her shoulder tightly.

She shrugged. "It's okay. I think. I mean," she said, "I think it's going to be okay. We're on okay terms, now that she knows how I feel about her." She took a breath. "It's all in the open. It makes things easier."

Eliza nodded. "That's good. And she's a good friend?"

Alex smiled up at her mom. "She really is. Smart and kind and supportive." She nodded. "Terrible pool player, mind you. We're talking bad on an epic scale."

"And yet she willingly continues to play pool with you?"

Alex nodded.

"Hm," she hummed, pensively.

"What?" Alex asked.

"Are you sure she doesn't like you like that?" her mother asked.

She raised an eyebrow. "Pretty sure... Why?"

"No reason," her mother smiled. "You just let me know when Maggie comes to her senses, dear, all right?"

Alex frowned at that, but her mother had already walked over to another table, examining the scan results that were now being displayed on both the tablet and her monitor.

It wouldn't be until a day or so later that Alex would finally understand what her mother had meant.

"She came to her senses," she would text. "How did you do that?"

"A mother knows," would be the response.


End file.
